damage control

We were worried about the storm. It was Florida, and it was vacation, so rightfully so we were complaining because instead of being able to lay on the beach in the sun, we were stuck in the garage of the high rise our condo was in due to the F5 tornado traveling from Mobil, Alabama.

We were scared. It was destruction headed our way. But we had warning.

The train whistle blew by, and it was over. Our destruction still carried safety with it.
Gathering our "cool" from the safe indoors, the TV without fault became our entertainment.

As we watched the clips play over and over again of Japan being washed away, we also watched from our window the penny sized waves of our paradise. We imagined from a distance what destruction would be like should it be the water we were watching affected by a tsunami.

Putting aside the concern that was felt for those experiencing the unimaginable, it instantly became an issue of my well being. Texts and phone calls from family and friends wondering if I, of all people were okay. Because to the majority, concern is best when it is applicable and has a connection. To my friends and family, I was the tangible concern being the one that lives on the coast of California that could possibly be affected by a predicted tsunami.

Instead of "what can we do to help Japan", it became a matter of "Hannah, you probably shouldn't go back to California." Guilt hits. In the midst of one world being completely depleted while watching the TV turned to "entertainment", which also became our own warning system.

Events, such as Japan's disaster, which happen from a distance make our sub-conscience think with the voice of "I" when really it's the most important time for it to be speaking with the voice of "we".

an attempt at relearning innocence

It seems like it would be predictable by now. Every Wednesday at 3:15. Same school, same time, same staff, same classroom, but never the same kids. Sure, there are the regulars. The ones that show up from week to week that sit in the same desk, with their same sidekick troublemaking friend, but there is at least one to two new faces every week that decide to join Care House Christian Club at Monarch school downtown San Diego.

Being a leader of this "bible study" for the inner city kids always has its adventures. Between the sharp tongues, the snappy attitudes, and the heir of coolness each youngster tries to achieve makes it hard to teach. Today's christian club was different though. Instead of having a prepared lesson, we had a Q & A session for the little ones, an opportunity for them to ask any questions they had related to the bible. The questions they asked varied from "How old is Jesus?", "When is Jesus' birthday?", "When is Barack Obama's birthday?", "Did you know Justin Bieber just turned 17 yesterday?. They surprisingly seemed to really know how to stay on topic. So to encourage the focused theme, I threw questions at them (followed by candy). I won't bore you with examples of the number of questions I asked, but one question in particular every kid seemed to have an answer to. (Going along with one of our themes from a few weeks prior, "Unlocking Love")

Q- "What is one way of showing love and affection to your family and friends?"

A's- "Doing nice things like not saying bad words."
       "Showing reSPECT!"
       "Sometimes being nice to your mommy."
       "Giving a present, or not hitting someone."
       "AHhh you know what it is!"(this one included a dance)
       "Listening to Hannah Montana."(fortunately what I am referred to as)

As I was listening to their answers and imagining how little I know of most of the kids and their family life. It made me envy them and their innocence. To them, love was a word that they have been told about and what they know only as an action verb.

numbers that aren't used for counting.

You know when you have those moments that you think to yourself..."Why not? Why not seize the day?!" And then following that thought you proceed to do something that the big man himself only knows is not going to end the way the you wish/want/or hope for it to, but for some ungodly reason you yourself think and hope that this will be that one in a million chance that they DO end the way you wish/want/or hope?

For example-jumping into a pool filled with below 40 degree water on New Years Eve-not that that was recently done or anything; spending the money that you don't have on an overpriced item-in this case a wallet,which now holds no purpose considering the money to be held in the wallet was spent on the wallet itself; taking a random road trip on a whim, letting a friend drive your car for the sake of not having to drive-warning: don't try this, experience shows that it's not the smartest idea. results vary; or even the simple act of leaving your number on a cute strangers car-not that you know what kind of car they drive when attending a school with no secrets.

In consideration of the latter, like I said before, not every "seize the day" moment ends with the results that we hope for. When it comes down to it, I guess it's not really your fault for seizing the day. It is simply his (the strangers) bad for not accepting a "carpe diem" in return.

disney, and all its wonders.

I've always been intrigued with the state of innocence that the Disney theme parks maintain, especially when compared to everything else Disney related. The peter pan ride, the flying dumbo, and the it's a small world ride all seem as if they are adopted into Disney when compared to Disney channel role models. 


Or maybe it's the other way around. Looking at Miley Cyrus, who has recently turned her life to drugs (legal ones of course; maybe she can be tamed), Zac Efron's High School Musical ex lover Vanessa Hudgens and her naked pictures (but it's okay, because they were only intended for her boyfriend. obviously), and Ashley Tisdale who now stars in Hellcats (the name says it all; at least she graduated from Disney's high school, and moved to the CW's college. progress), these are just a few examples of great people Disney has raised. It's no wonder they aren't found wandering around the theme parks with Mickey and friends ready to take pictures and sign autograph books with all of the little ones, Disney's embarrassed. 

It sounds like I'm hating on Disney, when in reality I am one of Disney's biggest fans. Regardless of it's flaws. This past weekend I had the privilege of spending the weekend at the happiest place on earth, Disneyland. Without fail the second I walked into the park years were shed from my age and a permanent smile was put on my face. I said I was intrigued by the theme parks innocence, but it doesn't surprise me at the same time because how could anyone walk in the park, regardless of age, and not instantly become innocent? It really is magical. 


But when taking a closer look, it, along with it's networks seems to have its own quirks. One of which I witnessed and was apart of. It was a holiday weekend at Disney, packed with people. And when the people are out, as are the Disney characters. I was sitting with some friends at a table right off of main street, enjoying some mediocre overpriced theme park chili (the fact that I was eating chili at Disneyland while it was 80 plus degrees out, is an example in itself of how magical Disney really is) and we were people watching. Amongst the people, we spotted Mary Poppins, and her male friend with kids lined up to take their picture/interact with the characters straight out of the movie. At our table, we could overhear Mary Poppins and friend speaking with the children and started a discussion on whether or not their accents were real, and what it was like to have a job as a character, and being in that character for a full shift. To us, it was incredible how they interacted with the kids, and convinced not only them, but us as well, that they really were the real characters.


Our interest led to the desire for interaction and a picture of our own. So, we stood in line behind the 5 year olds waiting our turn to get a picture with Mary Poppins, and the extremely attractive male character with her. In that moment, I became the age of the girls around me. Despite the extreme attractiveness the guy had going for him, I could see nothing in front of me but my very own Mary Poppins movie in front of me! I was about to get a picture with celebrities! My innocence was short lived and taken aback quickly as soon as it was my turn to take the picture. I was asked to stand in between Mary Poppins and friend to pose, and as soon as I did, I hear a whisper in my left ear from a male voice saying, “you can be my arm candy anytime”. 


It was in that moment that reality was quickly brought back to me. Disney is still magical, but innocence is only a surface cover.